My mum would rather ignore me than hear me; this is her way to avoid difficult issues. I know it’s painful, but the words are to be said loud and clear before we see the lights. Dad is not well, talking about it makes her cry. I don’t think she realizes that I know the consequences, or understand her desperate need of dad getting better. She needs her husband and wants him to be as he was before. If we keep silence doesn’t mean he’s fine, it just means we don’t deal with it right now but later. How could later be better for him!?
I hate myself, pushing her, god I love her, more than she could ever imagine, I don’t think she feels any love when we talk about dad.
She knows how much I love dad, I can’t wait he doesn’t have much time; this bloody disease is moving fast inside his poor body. I want to stop its progress or at least slow it down. I really believe he will be in peace with himself, if we accept the fact as it is. This bloody Dementia, I hate it too much to even have any desire to know much about it, but I have to. I just have to for dad.
He is suffering more than any of us; he doesn’t understand it or have any grasp of the situation. Sometimes he just says "I sometimes forget things", sometimes he asks "how come he forgets things?" But it always makes him sad to confront with it. Sometimes he cries, sometimes he hides the tears it aches my heart to feel his shivering inside. It’s as if he wants to scream “could anyone tell me what’s going on with me without hurting my feelings?
He is the best father anyone could wish for; I will be by his side, always. But I wish to do more than just be there for him and mum. Could any one tell me what to do? My father has dementia, and I don’t know what to do…………..
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